This could be a nice wee insurance policy if you're planning on going abroad...
Not since Bill Clinton got a little too excited over Monica's black dress has the world been so shook by an eruption. Holidays have been postponed, business meeting cancelled and perhaps worst of all, we've had to put up with a really low calibre of guest on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross all thanks to the on-going rumblings of Eyjafjallajökull - or Gudjohnsen as Jose Mourinho calls it in his culturally sensitive way. With free junkets hard to come by, our Marketing Team have been forced into actually doing some work and they've surprised the lot of us by doing something good. We call it volcanobetting.com and in short it's a great way to get a compensation if Bjork flares up to stop you traveling.
It's becoming all too familiar. Shirts, underpants, vegetable oil - you're packed and ready to go. The walkman is loaded with a fresh set of batteries and Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits and you've been practicing your 'voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir?' for when you hit the nightclubs - of Tenerife. Then BAM! Bloody ash cloud covering vast areas of the Northern Hemisphere. You're going nowhere. 'No, no. It's grand. Our scientists have proven conclusively that what we think is mainly composed of Chanel No. 5 and no more dangerous than stepping on a marshmallow' says Mr. Budget Airline. 'No, no. Our findings say flying through volcanic ash could be more fatal than eating a banana that's not curvy enough,' responds Mr. EU Bureaucrat.
We're not saying it's all result of a divine presence showing displeasure at what's going on in the world today, but is it merely coincidence that this is happening so soon after the emergence of Jedward? Now you can hedge your bets in case God decides to vent his spleen at someone covering Ice Ice Baby. Simply find the airport you'll be flying out from and stick a few quid on the place being closed that day. If everything's fine, then enjoy your holiday and don't forget to bring us back a Toblerone. If Sigur Ros has kicked off enough to keep you grounded, then you're quids in. What it lacks in a lobster tan and paella, it more than makes up for in money.
